Frequently Asked Questions
Therapy
General
There is no perfect answer to this question — there are many articles about it (e.g., here and here). I would say that if (1) there is anything that is bothering you (e.g., negative thoughts, difficult emotions, problems in relationship, lack of motivation, etc.) and (2) you would want support dealing with it, it is a good idea to start therapy. It could also be that you are feeling quite well right now and would want to deal with things from your past (e.g., trauma) or plan together for the future (e.g., develop certain skills like public speaking or interpersonal skills).
It is recommended to have one session a week, especially in the beginning. But, if due to a variety of circumstances, that is not possible, you can still follow therapy, for example, with one session every two weeks.
Rarer than 2 times a month would move our work from actively solving your difficulties to supporting you in your situation. This is not necessary bad — many long-term clients choose to have less frequent sessions, using them as “boosters” for continuing their personal work, but it does mean there will be less space for active interventions.
You can read about therapy session costs (and possible discounts) by pressing here.
No. Psychotherapist and psychologist do not and can not prescribe medication. Your GP or your psychiatrist can help you with finding the best medication that works for you.
However, we can discuss your concerns about it and I can help you schedule an appointment if that is helpful.
The one you feel most comfortable with. This sounds trivial, but studies show that connection or “fit” between a therapist and the client is one of the most important factors in successful therapy (although, as with all science, the jury is out there).
Therapy is often hard work, and it often takes time. Embarking to a long trip with someone you already don’t feel comfortable might not be the best idea. That is why I always offer to first have a short call, to see how well I understand your situation and how comfortable you feel working together.
There are many approaches, but again, as with therapists, the one that you find most fitting probably will benefit you the most. Another possible way to check would be to search for specific trials with the disorder and therapy (e.g., CBT + depression, DBT + borderline personality disorder).
You can read more about therapy approaches I practice here.
Yes. I do my absolute best to ensure that the information you share with me is strictly confidential and secure. That means I will not share your information with anybody except you (even your insurer), unless you explicitly ask or confirm this. For example, you might give me a written permission to discuss your situation with a more experienced colleague (supervision). Or you want me to discuss your situation with your psychiatrist (and, again, give me an explicit written consent to do that).
The only other exception for confidentiality is if you are a threat to yourself or others. In this case, to protect you and/or others, I will have to breach your confidentiality (e.g., I will contact medical institutions to make sure you are safe). But in all cases, before making this step, I always try to first discuss it with you.
It is a matter of several factors, and, essentially, your own preference. Both can be equality effective. If you want to explore this more, I wrote a short article about it here.
It depends. In case of therapy, I do not work with Dutch insurances. Thus, Dutch insurances will not cover therapy sessions with me. For insurance covered services, you normally need to go to your general practitioner — they will offer you a list of clinics that do work with Dutch insurances.
Some international insurances, however, do cover our sessions — I invite you to check with your provider about requirements and possibilities.
As for mindfulness, many Dutch insurances do at least partly cover an 8-week mindfulness-based stress reduction course (MBSR) — you can check if and how much yours cover by contacting them or checking over here.
You can always cancel or reschedule your session for free if you are doing this no later than 24h before the session. If you cancel less than ~24h before the session, the session will be charged fully. The same applies to no shows.
It is important to notice that insurances do not cover late cancellations or no shows.
We are all human, so if late cancellation or no show is due to unforeseen force majeure, we can decide on how we can approach it together.
Being under influence of substances or being aggressive/violent during a session will result in an immediate termination of the session (with full charge of the costs).
If you do not inform me in advance, being late more than 15 minutes with be, unfortunately, treated as a no show (and charged fully).
If you inform me of being late, we can agree on solution based on your situation.
That can happen! Therapy is not a panacea, and I am not the only (or the MOST experienced) therapist. First thing that I would recommend is to discuss that with me—nearly all the time we are able to discuss your situation, adjust treatment plan, find alternative solutions. Sometimes that could mean finding another specialist – for example, if we find that a difficult you are experiencing is beyond my professional skills (e.g. severe suicidality, ADHD, eating disorders among others). In this case, I will assist and help you (within my knowledge and professional boundaries) to find someone else who can be more helpful in your situation.
If there are elements of therapy that you think are unacceptable, or if I did make mistakes that cause you any kind of damage, it is, again, important to discuss that. I never intend to harm my clients, but I recognize my limitations as a human, thus recognizing that I am able to make mistakes, and these mistakes can cause you distress or harm. Normally, I will be first to point these situations out and offer an apology, and, if needed, solutions.
If you don’t feel comfortable discussing this with me, or if these discussing did not lead to results you hoped for, you can also file an official complaint via an independent Disputes Committee. This committee will handle any possible disputes between me and you, and can make binding decisions for both. I am registered with NIP-affiliated dispute company Klacht&Company. If you wish to file a complaint in this manner, you can send it directly via their email ([email protected]) and use a complaint form (in Dutch) available here.
I still encourage you to first discuss these steps with me before taking any legal actions. Often, there are much simpler solutions available, even to serious concerns.
You can read more about my NIP Model Complaint and Dispute Regulations here (in Dutch).
Common difficulties and reasons to seek therapy
This could look like feeling sad, low, hopeless or “empty”, feeling irritable, guilty, worthless or helpless. It could make people stop their hobbies or activities they used to enjoy, as they feel a lower interest and derive less pleasure from them. It could affect energy levels, sleep, concentration, appetite and/or weigh, increase thoughts of death or suicide, it could even make one consider or attempt one. It also can manifest in the body as aches or pains, digestive problems or other problems without a clear physical cause.
A normal bodily response to stressful situations. However, it can become misguided — too strong, too long, too hard to “switch off”. It could contribute to a range of difficulties (called anxiety disorders): panic disorder (experiencing recurring terrifying panic attacks), phobias (excessive fear of specific situations, objects, activities, or beings), social anxiety (extreme fear and discomfort in social situations), obsessive-compulsive disorder (a combination of uncontrollable reoccurring thoughts and behaviours that a person feels the urge to repeat again and again).
Often a combination of thoughts (e.g., “I am stupid/unlovable/unworthy/etc”, “I don’t deserve to be loved/cared for/accepted”, “I must be perfect and/or do everything right”), feelings (e.g., guilt, shame, fear, self-hate), and behaviours (e.g., trying to please others, criticizing oneself, avoiding challenges, being perfectionistic). Low self-esteem contributes to many issues, thus, it can be considered a general mental health risk factor (e.g., for depression).
It is absolutely normal to experience upsetting memories, feel anxious or on edge, have nightmares or troubled sleep after a life-threatening, shocking or dangerous event. However, if symptoms last for months, it could indicate that we need a professional help to deal with it. Common symptoms include (among others): intrusive thoughts, dreams of flashbacks, avoidance of the reminders of the traumatic event (e.g., people, places, objects, etc.), difficulty to experience positive emotions, irritability or angry outbursts, problems with concentration or sleeping.
Stress response is a natural bodily reaction to perceived obstacles in our environment. However, if we experience long-term stress or if we stay too long in an emotional and/or physically draining environment, we can begin to feel exhausted. If we continue to experience such state of prolonged and excessive stress, we can develop burnout. In this state people feel tired most of the time, helpless or overwhelmed, numb or detached from others, develop a cynical outlook on their work or the world, they might have difficulties to be productive or to work at all.
There are many difficulties that people experience. Some deal with relationship difficulties (e.g., divorce, conflicts, asserting boundaries, or difficulties with intimacy), perfectionism (a strong urge to do everything perfectly or achieve in many areas simultaneously), procrastination (excessively postponing important tasks while often distracting oneself with other activities), complicated grief (grief is a normal reaction to a probably most distressing event in most people lives, but if it doesn’t stop after several months, it could be a sign of complicated grief).
Mindfulness
In many situations. It could be helpful to deal with stress, anxiety, equip us to better deal with emotions, help us understand our (automatic) reactions, among others. It could also help us live a more connected, authentic and happier life.
In some case, mindfulness might not be useful. Although there are little documented cases of mindfulness causing any harm (see overview here), it is generally advised to avoid intense meditation if you suffer from severe mental health problems (e.g., schizophrenia, severe PTSD, bipolar disorder, substance abuse disorders). In this case, it might be more useful to first contact your psychologist to discuss any potential risks.
Similarly, it might be less useful if you currently are going through a crisis, or suffering from mental health problems. If you rarely pay attention to your thoughts, emotions and sensations, and you are dealing with a serious crisis, paying more attention to your distress could overload your capacity to tolerate it. Thus, it might be better to first address this before joining.
To clarify — mindfulness can be a great supplementary tool to improve mental health! But often, a classical MBSR program is not equipped to deal with a mental health crisis (more traditional therapy or Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy, MBCT, could be more suitable).
Most people that come to mindfulness expect to be able to “empty” their minds — to stop thoughts, seize to feel negative emotions, make discomfort go away. This is not possible, and, to be honest, not a desirable outcome. It is normal to have thoughts, emotions, urges, memories, sensations. This is a natural and unavoidable part of life. Trying to suppress natural experiences can not only be fruitless, but also damaging — e.g., trying to numb ourselves and our emotions by consuming harmful substances. A better goal could be to learn to “sit” with these experiences, observing them for what they are — just thoughts, emotions and physical sensations. Often unpleasant, scary, but overall harmless (until we act upon some of them).
Mindfulness is a type of meditation practice. There are many practices, associated with both secular and religious teachings. Mindfulness, as tough in MBSR courses, is a completely secular type of meditation, created for therapeutic goals based on (mostly) Buddhism teachings.
Yes. There are over 9000 studies conducted in the last 40 years. Benefits of mindfulness are well-documented and studied under different conditions and using different methods.
No. This is a beginner course, so everybody — no matter of their background, religion, gender, beliefs, etc. — are welcomed.
It is advisable to come to all class (as the course build on previous classes to explain more advanced concepts later on). However, if you miss one class, it is generally not a big problem, especially if you can read and practice in-between.
Have another question?
If your question is not answered here, feel free to write me a message
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